"Beautiful"

Welcome home,
But we all know a homes not a home when your alone.
Because these bricks and this wood,
Seemed like they should have stood.
When the wind blew,
And the rain beat down.
Exposing something truly beautiful,
But having something truly beautiful is useless,
unless you have someone to share it with.
So you took this beautiful house,
And you pumped it full of plastic,
And you think you look so fantastic,
But you starve yourself at night,
And your constantly living in fright,
That your house will fall down.
Only fueling an idea that will make us drown
They idea that you have to be perfect,
And if your not perfect your not worth it.
Fueled by the imagery of pornography,
And the new human philosophy
That if your not the right hight,
Or if your not a sight
To be lusted over by men,
Then your not alright.
But you fill your life with supports,
That will just fall down,
Bringing the rest of this house to the ground,
This beautiful mansion with pillars of gold.
And a marble staircase glittering with diamonds,
But nobody ever see's it,
Because you hide it,
underneath all this guilt,
Bringing this house down to nothing but ashes.
And after this your still alone
Even after you destroyed your home.
So we build your house from the bottom up,
Keeping nothing but but bitter distrust,
And your life is a graveyard,
And your just a ghost
Wondering from headstone to headstone,
Trying to find a new home.
   

Disaster's

        I know that your hooked like a fish on this crazy conspiracy, that your not important enough. Building your house on these shifting sands, waiting for someone to notice you the real you not just the you, you try to be. Pushing through life trying to make something of yourself , but at the same time trying not to go "to far". Trying to find someone that can see that your drowning in your own emotions, and you try to push it off like its not an ocean, and every day it get's a little deeper and a little harder to push off. And it's tough trust me I know, especially when you try not to show, your real feeling's. You bottle it up, and put it away, and try not to say anything, and the pain you welcome it like an old friend. You set yourself up for disaster, making your life go by so much faster, this is a disaster Oh God! this is a disaster.

"Washed"

⁸ “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”    Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
 ⁹ “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
      -John 13:8-9

Oh God Please wash my feet!
And wash my hands too!
In fact wash my head!
And when your through!
Do it again!
Because I cant stand the thought of living without you!
We've walked with you!
And seen miracles and signs.
But please right now God get up in my mind!
 Because these thoughts that iv been thinking!
There tearing me apart.
And listen closely this pain is going so deep inside my heart.
So when your done washing my body, please wash my mind and soul.
Because I have this heavy feeling like im trapped in this deep hole.
So hear my cry God!
And i know you will.
But sometimes i just don't feel like being still.
I wanna move and walk and talk and fight my own battles.
But i know that im not strong enough.
And i know your more than enough.
To get me through my selfish and unexplainable rattles.
And these battles that im trying to fight. 
I put on the armor but i still feel naked and bare.
And God please excuse me if i get a little bit scared.
Even though i know your there.
I still feel naked and bare.
so wash me and cloth me.
Give me courage to fight the pain.
Im done with this shame!
And I know your here.